Hipsters: The Decay Of America

Hipsters. They're everywhere. In our schools, in our cities, in our neighborhoods, and maybe even in your HOUSE!! The hipster threat is very real and very scary, so I thought of a list to help you determine whether or not you or a loved one has contracted hipterism!

Clothes:
Are you experiencing urges to purchase your clothes from thrift stores or boutiques?
Are you suddenly interested in fabrics and pattern blocking? Do you know what the term "power-clash" means when referring to your wardrobe? A sudden fascination with scarves?

You might be a hipster if you do/are.

Speech:
"You go girl"
"Bro"
"No bueno"
Has dated 90's phrases worked their way into your everyday life?
Is every friend of yours simply referred to as bro or yo cuz?
Find yourself using short simple phrases from other languages you aren't fluent in?

You mean you do all of that? Oh, maybe its just a coincidence...

General Temperament/Outlook on Life:
The daytime is suddenly either the best time of day or the worst, it depends on what you did the evening before.
Everybody should start to eat healthier, right? You can't the believe how everyone shoves fastfood poison into their bodies! But you think smoking and drinking alcohol is totally fine?
You believe that nothing is actually cool until you consider it so? Sure it might be interesting, but it can't truly be cool if you don't know about it.

Oh, you actually believe in some of that huh? You feel the exact same way... well maybe you're a...

Music:
That 90's hip-hop is in constant rotation on your iPod classic huh?
Do you say things like, "This mainstream music is ass, have you heard this way way underground guy who makes music in his mom's basement?"
Ever thought, "I mean, I like lil Wayne in an ironic way..."



Yeah bro... you're totally a hipster. No. Bueno.

Face Pubes

I'm not sure if you guys have noticed, but the beard has made a huge come back in the last few years. Once reserved for lumberjacks and wilderness experts only, the beard is now appearing on the faces of athletes, rappers, fucking hipsters, and actors. Let's take a look at a few, shall we?

Rappers:
Rick Ross- When you think beards and rap music, Rick Ross is often the first thing to come to mind. Not the originator but definitely helped propel beards to a higher level of prominence! Bawse Beard.

Stalley- Rick Ross's newest signee also rocks a huge beard... I myself think that's what got him signed. Dude's music is nice, but doesn't really fit the MMG sound. Must've been the beard.

Joe Budden- Ladies love Budden. Most think it's because of his raw honesty. I think its the lightweight beard though. Thick enough to assert it's dominance, but not overbearing like those previously mentioned.

Fucking Hipsters:
Fuck Hipsters and their dirty unkempt beards. They bring shame and disgrace to the beard world.

Athletes:
Brian Wilson- If you're not into baseball then you're probably not familiar with the name Brian Wilson. But, if you watch tv you certainly know his beard. Dude is the star of a few commercials. He's appeared in ads for both Taco Bell and NBA 2k12. That beard is black ops.

Actors:
Joaquin Phoenix- Which came first the beard or the crazy? Probably the crazy but the large scary looking beard aint helping. At. All. Y'know its men like him that give beards bad names.


I hope this list has given you a new found respect for the beard! Try putting the razor down for a while growing your own immaculate beard. Could be the best decision you ever make! Well as long as you're not a fucking hipster.

Where the f#%k is yo stache??

Deon Cole (Of Conan fame) said it best, black men need mustaches. We look weird without em. But what about white guys? I decided I'd run through a list of most of the lip fur I see white guys rockin. Enjoy.









1. The Tom Selleck: Straight mustache magic right here. Its classic and well kept. It adds a certain classiness to your face. Can't go wrong with this one.

2. The Porn Star: Creepy. Avoid the guy rocking this thing AT ALL COSTS.

3. The Hipster: First off, fuck hipsters. Secondly fuck their old timey turned up handle bar mustaches. I wonder how much hair wax they go through a month?

4. The Dirt Stache: Barely a mustache, more like somebody took some dirt and glued it to your face. Commonly seen on the weird mouth breathing kids that sit in the back of the classroom as they they go over their Dungeon & Dragons strategy.

Things Everybody Hates

Thought I'd make a list of things nobody likes. If you do like something on this list you're probably the type of person who finds dogs and children attractive. Fucking Sicko.

1. Drying off with wet towels
2. Black jelly beans and licorice
3. Finding other people's hair on you
4. Finding out you didn't have to be somewhere for another hr
5. That one person on Facebook who keeps trying to add you
6. Fat girls in clothes that are too small

Don't Watch Me Watch...

TV! Everybody has their favorite shows so I thought I'd put together a small list of what I enjoy watching. Check these out when you get a chance

1. Modern Family

So many reasons to watch this show: Excellent writing, great cast, the jokes hit every time, Julie Bowen (Happy Gilmore!), Ty Burrel, Sofia Vergara's cleavage, Ed O'neil, are all fantastic. The show works on so many levels. Worth checking out. Catch it Wednesdays at 8

2.Archer

Animated show on FX about the life of a secret agent who's the best and worst at what he does. Don't let the fact that it's animated fool you though, this is definitely not for kids! The show is full of crude jokes about sex, strippers, and drugs. It seems like something that should belong on CartoonNetwork's Adult Swim. The show is voiced perfectly, and features some of the best writing around. Make sure you catch it Thursdays at 10

3. Adventure Time/Regular Show

More cartoons, these two play on regular CartoonNetwork, but don't let that turn you away! These are a couple of the funniest shows out now. They are both bizarre and filled with almost inappropriate jokes that are definitely aimed at an older audience. If you don't mind watching an animated dog with magic powers, a little boy slaying monsters, a giant bird, or a talking gumball machine then you should be watching these. Mondays 8/8:15

4.Community

This show is centered around a group of friends at a Community College. The writing is without a doubt some of the best around, and the entire cast is spectacular. Chevy Chase, Ken Jeong (Naked asian in the Hangover!!), Donald, Glover, Alison Brie (She could GET IT), are just a few of the actors that keep this show fresh and interesting. If you're not watching you're losing.

Thursdays at 8.

2011 Freshmen List...

As the new XXL Freshmen 2011 magazine comes out on stands, I am very upset about it. While there are people on there that deserved the honor. There are also quite a few that do not deserve a spot, compared to the other people that have been on their grind.
With that being said. The list of people that deserve to be on the list are...

1. CyHi Da Prynce 2. Big K.R.I.T. 3.Kendrick Lamar 4. Diggy. and as much as i don't care for the last 2, they have been doing their thing. 5. Yelawolf and 6. Lil B.

So that leaves us.
Meek Mill
Lil Twist
Feed The Godson
Mac Miller
YG

Very easy to replace those 5 and set up for an incredible freshmen list.
Meek Mill can easily be replaced by... Chip Tha Ripper. The man made "The Cleveland Show" enough said.
Lil Twist should be replaced by... XV. Too bad XXL is afraid to put him on the list because of his rants from 2010. Fuck XXL. That's what I say. XV is a phenomenal and talented rapper
Fred The Godson is an easy one... Dom Kennedy. Lets put it this way. More people know who Dom is than Fred, YG, Meek, or Mac Miller.
Mac Miller can be replaced by Shawn Chrystopher. You must have been seriously sleeping in 2010 and so far in 2011 if you haven't heard this man or his music.
and the last and least is YG... I would have loved to see Vado on this list. XXL must have not taken the time this year, or seriously rushed and put a bunch of bullshit artists on this list. Matter of fact that is exactly what XXL did.

But whaddya do.

Top 10 Albums Of 2010

Finally got around to posting this. This list is composed from myself, two people with great Hip-Hop knowledge and Chase Alexander himself. So... Starting at,

#10

B.o.B - The Adventures Of Bobby Ray

#9

Statik Selekath - 100 Proof: The Hangover

#8

Curren$y - Pilot Talk

#7

Lloyd Banks - H.F.M.2 (The Hunger For More 2)

#6

Freeway & Jake One - The Stimulus Package

#5

Rick Ross - Teflon Don

#4

The Roots - How I Got Over

#3

Big Boi - Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son Of Chico Dusty

#2

Eminem - Recovery

And the #1 ranked album from 2010 is...

#1

Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

There are the top 10 albums from 2010. Feel free to comment

My Late Graduation College Heartbreak

Alright, so we were sittin around discussing our favorite Kanye albums and decided to put them in order. My list:

1. The College Dropout

This is the album that made me fall in love with music. It'll always have a special place in my heart. All Falls Down, Spaceship, Workout Plan, Slow jamz, etc. Not one bad track the whole album. It's fucking great.

2. 808s & Heartbreak

I know what you're thinking, 808s second? Yes. 808s second. The album is beautiful. The emotion the man got across on this album is phenomenal. It inspired you to be sad! Anybody who's ever been in a bad relationship (almost everybody) can relate. Paranoid, dealing with a crazy girl. RoboCop, dealing with a controlling chick. The album is just full of emotion. Def speaks to the heart.

3. Late Registration

After the classic album that was The College Dropout, I really didn't know if Ye could deliver again. I was fucking wrong. The man dropped another great project. Gold Digger (BANGER), Touch The Sky (introduced me to Lupe), Drive Slow (Paul Wall killed it). Track after track of good music.

4. Graduation

Graduation had songs that made you feel like a fucking champion! Shit like Good Life, Champion, Barry Bonds, all made you feel like you was the (wo)man. Then had deeper shit like Good Morning, Flashing Lights. Great disc all around.

5.My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Great Album. Only reason it's last is because it hasn't had time to grow on me like the others have. It's only like 4 months old right now. Plus half the cd was released(Good Fridays) before it came out, so I was used to most tracks by the time the final album was in my hands.

Alright, some people are looking at this and calling me crazy. But remember, Kanye has ONLY put out classic albums. So putting one album #2 and another #4 doesn't mean they're bad albums, just means that's how they impacted me as a fan. All of his albums are still shitting on over half of the bullshit out right now.